small change: your emotional intelligence


small change 


Ciarán Fenton

How small changes in your behaviour will have a big impact on how you work, lead or follow

That’s the working title of a book I’m writing, initially as a series of short blogs.

Blog 1 small change: seven principles

Blog 2 small change: your career is a unique business

Blog 3 small change: your soft balance sheet

Blog 4 small change: your D Liability

Blog 5 small change: your timeline

Blog 6 small change: your formative years

Blog 7 small change: your A asset

Blog 8 small change: your career equity

Blog 9 small change: your curriculum vitae

Blog 10 small change: your emotional intelligence


Seven principles

Principle 1

Your career is

  • a unique business,
  • one over seven billion in its uniqueness


Blog 10  small change: your emotional intelligence

your career equity

Your emotional intelligence (EQ) is the second key component of your career equity.

In my work I address three EQ issues:

  1. Empathy
  2. Self-awareness-
  3. Your ability to have your needs met, productively



Empathy, according to the Cambridge English Dictionary,  is “the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation”.

It is not to be confused with sympathy. You can be empathetic with someone but not sympathetic towards them.

On a scale of zero to ten, where ten is highly empathetic and zero is not at all – how empathetic are you, your boss, your colleagues?


The dictionary definition is: “good knowledge and judgment about yourself”. How good is yours?

Your ability to have your needs met, productively

Usually, I find this to be the most complex issue of the three in helping people develop their emotional intelligence because getting one’s needs met is at the heart of all conflict and all cooperation.

I use a “tool” – FEEL/NEED/DO – which has been developed by others, most notably Marshall Rosenberg in Non-Violent Communication, to help people work through three steps:

  1. What do you feel in relation to the issue at hand?
  2. What do you need in relation to that feeling?
  3. What can you do (options) to meet you need to address your feeling?

Try it out on the next matter of conflict you encounter at home or at work.


Nonviolent Communication — A Language of Life (Nonviolent Communication Guides)

Basics of Nonviolent Communication, by Marshall Rosenberg


Daniel Goleman on Emotional Intelligence


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